Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize