I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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