I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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