the day after is always just damage control
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
that may or may not have been my penis.
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