he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize