ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize