Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
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Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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