Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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