I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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