Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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