I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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