i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize