yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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