we should wear snuggies to the strip club
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
jump out the window naked night went bad
I know her cup size but not her name....
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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