If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You're like the curious george of whores
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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