I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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