Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize