covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
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I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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