I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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