you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize