Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize