I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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