Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize