i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
