I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize