I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
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We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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