Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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