He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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