I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize