We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
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I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
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Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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