anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's blow job season.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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