she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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