Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize