We should be called the Road Head Warriors
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize