Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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