I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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