Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
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She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
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I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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