Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize