In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
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I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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