Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
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they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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