Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize