so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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