Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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