oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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