all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Your penis caused this!
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
