chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
A bitchslap is in order.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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