I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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