Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize