You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize