i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize